Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Five Awesome People To Have Been In A Past Life

By Andy David

Whenever people discuss reincarnation, this exchange inevitably takes place "I was Cleopatra in a past life" "No you weren't, I was!" We can't all be Cleopatra or Julius Cesar, but here are five less-claimed past lives it would've been nice to have...

George S. Patton

Besides being a legendary general and a crazy sonofagun, Patton was also something of a poet, focusing on the concept of past lives in some of his work. Through a Glass, Darkly, is written from the perspective of a soldier who has fought and died in every major war, only to be reincarnated once more as a soldier. The idea of an immortal fighter, being reborn every generation or so to serve the common good, is an interesting one.

Elvis Presley

There is probably nobody else in history who has inspired so many impersonators. There's literally an entire industry built around the idea of dressing, sounding and acting like The King. There's nothing these guys would love more than to hear from an expert that they are, in fact, The King, and that's exactly why they do it so well.

Ben Franklin

Without a doubt, the most eccentric of the founding fathers, Benjamin Franklin is most well known as an inventor of the lightning rod and the bifocals, but he's also remembered for all the crazy stories there are about him. The kite story is exaggerated, but based in reality. He also once talked a friend into joining the army so as to steal his fiancee, and he once electrocuted himself trying to roast a turkey with electricity. If you're the "Kramer" of your group of friends, who knows, maybe that's your face on the hundred dollar bill.

Actress Audrey Hepburn

With so many women wishing they were Cleopatra, you don't hear anyone saying that they were once Audrey Hepburn. She was definitely the icon of grace and beauty in her time, so why not? Maybe she wasn't royalty on the political stage, but she certainly was in world culture. We vote her the woman we most wish would hurry up and be reincarnated already. Not only was she graceful and beautiful, she was charming and funny, and she only grew more beautiful with each passing year as she got older.

WWF Champion Andre the Giant

If you love having a good time, maybe you've got a little Andre in you. The pro wrestler was a known drunk, and a fun drunk. During one incident in New York with Classy Freddy Blasse, the bar closed down after a night of heavy drinking, but the two were just getting started and didn't really want to go home just yet. Andre lifted Blasse on his shoulder and ran to the nearest horse drawn carriage. Andre pulled the poor carriage driver out of the seat, tucked some cash into the guy's pocket, and he and Blasse essentially hijacked the horses and went on a mad spree across Central Park. For all the trouble he caused, Andre was always a lot of fun for the people around him. - 2361

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