Wednesday, February 11, 2009

T-Shirts Become You (And Me)

By James Gilbert Pynn

A T by any other name would smell just as sweet, dont you think? Am I obsessed, to a fault, with comfort? Have I gone off the deep end with my single-minded, heated obsession with the glorious, humble T-shirt? Perhaps. I have a problem, I can admit that. But if you grew up watching James Dean, Marlon Brando, and Monty Clift slouching about, yelling in the rain, and looking disinterested, youd have a fixed obsession with this piece of clothing.

Through the shrouded fog of modern history, I would say there are a handful of iconic articles of clothing. You can count them on one had " maybe two. Theres the Schott biker jacket, Levis jeans, Members Only windbreakers, Converse All Stars, and then " drum roll, please " the glorious T. Now, Im sure some of you fashionistas could expand my list " more power to you. You could twist my arm and add Doc Martens, pea coats, and even the trusty wing tip, but my aim here is to make it very clear how much I love the simplest of garments, this under-vest, this England.

The rightful definition of a T-shirt is very specific. Dont let the big guys fool you (read as Hanes or FTL) into thinking anything thats not a button-down Oxford qualifies as a training shirt. It doesnt. A tank top is just that " not a T-shirt! A long-sleeved T-shirt is not a T-shirt; its a knit shirt. Or something like that. There is no such thing as a short or long or collar T! Anything longer or shorter than the classic crew neck (I will give you the V neck) is something else.

By and large, a T-shirt is made out of cotton (sometimes polyester, sometimes both) that is knitted together with a jersey stitch, which gives this godly garment its distinct, unrivaled texture. Ah, the sweet relief of sliding on a fresh clean T " you would be hard pressed to find such a singular sensation. I dare you! It is the ultimate in comfort, despite some formalists who decry the T as some kind of symbol of the degradation of the Western world. The fall of Rome, signified by the proliferation of the lowly T-shirt. Preposterous.

Sweet T-shirt, my love, my life! These ingenious garments create what people in ad agencies call human billboards. Yes, the corporate grubs love to silkscreen their logos and slogans on finely knitted T-shirts, but lets not forget how the T can be the most powerful grass roots tool. All you need is a felt-tip pen (I suggest a Sharpie) and your Philosophy 101 book thats been collecting dust in the basement. Presto-bingo: instant slogan and social relevance. Hopefully. Cool T-shirts are whim away. Get whimsical! - 2361

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